Brenda's Blog

All articles from the 'Self-Leadership' Category

The true meaning of lines on faces—and how to use them to connect with others

As we connect virtually with people across the world, we are often getting a closer look at others’ faces than we might get in person. This offers a fantastic opportunity to learn and practice a new skill that can help you better understand people and to connect with them instantly: the epigenetic approach to reading faces.

Ever wonder why someone has lines across their forehead, or lines that come down from the sides of their cheeks, or why some people have two vertical lines in between their eyebrows? None of those lines are caused by aging (cue sigh of relief!) Instead, they are all due to “epigenetics” – how your life events are captured and reflected on your face. Watch this short video I made about this eye-opening, simple-to-learn skill, and uncover the easiest way to making instant and better connections with anyone, anywhere.

P.S. It’s fun, too!

What are YOUR constants?

In the midst of all that is going on, it’s easy to fall into drama and “what if’s.” Instead, during this week (which is International Coaching Week) I’m encouraging clients to focus on what is certain and stable, the constants in their lives that will never change.

What are YOUR constants – your what “is?” And which of the two is getting more attention from you these days—what “is” or what “if’s?”

The World Cup of Leadership

Due to COVID-19, we are experiencing the “World Cup of Leadership.” Leaders are being called into action, tapping into all past coaching, learning, and leadership courses to try and figure out what to do–at a time when it’s not clear what to do. The current situation is so unprecedented that there are very few prior experiences to rely on.

So Harvard Business School profs have been running a series of leadership webinars and, as an alum, I’ve really benefited from participating. HBS has made these recordings public: https://lnkd.in/fsVtPEF.

Short of time? Here are a few key takeaways–I hope they are helpful!

– Resist the pressure to provide quick answers. Everything is continuously changing, so decisions you make today may turn out wrong tomorrow. Take time to think.

– Communicate, communicate, communicate! It’s an incredibly uncertain period, so those you lead need to hear from you.

– Be brutally honest about the reality of the situation, but also share a rational basis for hope. Provide a story, a narrative for how to make our way through this.

– Pace yourself. There is no confirmed end in sight, so consider this a marathon rather than a sprint. Practice good well-being.

I don’t see the world falling apart…

“The world is falling apart!” someone told me recently. I respectfully disagreed, pointing out that I actually see us coming together:

  • Companies are donating resources to help create and deliver vital PPE and medical supplies to places that need it most.
  • People are proactively social distancing and staying home to do their part to prevent spreading this virus.
  • Families are spending more time together: indeed, some executive coaching clients tell me they are eating three meals a day with their children and spouse, for the first time in years.
  • Through posts on social media, people are spreading positive notes to lift spirits.

What other unifying actions are you seeing and experiencing? I’d love to hear!

The easiest and least expensive way to motivate employees

In the midst of challenging times, people need to be encouraged, motivated and inspired. And that holds true whether you are connecting with team members face-to-face or remotely. How do you do that? In this short-duration video, get tips and tricks about the easiest and least expensive way to motivate others, not just during tough times, but all of the time.

What additional ideas for motivating others can you share? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

What you focus on grows

The World Health Organization recently stated that “our greatest enemy right now is not the #coronavirus itself. It’s fear, rumors and stigma.”

It reminded me of this quote from a 9-year-old son of a friend … so true, isn’t it?

COVID-19 challenge: How to lead remotely, maintain productivity, and avoid “social isolation”

Corporate clients across the world are working from home due to quarantine or as a part of their company’s Business Continuity Plans. Without the conveniences of a “real” office and having no in-person interactions with colleagues, working from home can present leadership challenges and take a hit on productivity. It can also leave you feeling a bit “isolated.”

Below are some actions Executive Coaching clients are taking to successfully lead organizations from remote locations.

I’d love to hear additional suggestions you have for this list. Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

  • Honor your regular work rhythm: Establish work hours at home as per your norm.
  • Clarify up front with key colleagues and team members how you will communicate while working remotely. Which medium works best based on what you are trying to accomplish? Phone, video, WhatsApp/texting, emails…?
  • If you do choose to email team members, send a few points in one note, rather than sending an email each time something comes to mind.
  • Avoid “complete” isolation—stay as connected as you can by liaising with at least two people per day via phone or video.
  • Designate a specific space in your living quarters where you will work.
  • Have open, honest conversations with household members to establish “new rules of the game,” asking their help to honor your workspace and allow you to have focus time while you are there.
  • Thank your family/household members at the end of each day for having given you that focus time and for respecting boundaries. (*If you want to learn more about the importance of thanking and acknowledging others, read fellow coaches Chester Elton’s and Adrian Gostick’s new book called Leading with Gratitude.)
  • To keep things personal, set up a rotating “virtual coffee meeting”: you and a colleague each grab a coffee in your respective locations, then get on a video call together. Rotate your virtual coffee buddies regularly, inviting one or two key team members per day. Make sure to talk about things outside of work, too.
  • Build a sense of “we’re in this together.” Take advantage of today’s great video chat capabilities (Zoom, Skype, Facetime, WhatsApp, etc.) and host a full-team meeting once every 2-3 days.
  • Ask team members to share photos of their at-home work environments, and provide tips and tricks to make each other’s home work spaces better. This helps to build bridges and improve engagement (and have a bit of fun) when everyone is working from different locations.

A Surprising Antidote for Fear During Times of Turmoil

In the midst of today’s world—in the face of the ongoing Coronavirus (COVID-19) and so much uncertainty—it’s easy to fall into a place of fear. After all, 24 hours a day, the media is sharing with us the horrifying details of how tens of thousands of people all across the world are being negatively impacting, both at work and at home. My heartfelt empathy goes out to everyone who has been affected by what is happening today.

It’s not unusual to fall into fear when something so “unknown” rears its head, and I don’t want to dismiss the realities of what people are facing. At the same time, I’d like to challenge us all to think about this in a slightly different way.

“You want me to embrace what in the face of fear?”

In my years of coaching clients who are experiencing high levels of stress, fear, and anxiety, there is one surprising yet guaranteed antidote to help during times of turmoil: be grateful.

“How could I possibly be grateful at this moment in time?” That is not an unusual response when going through rough patches.

But, whenever anything arises in life that causes you angst, or anxiety, I encourage you to pause and remember one thing: there are numerous things to be grateful for, even though it may not seem so at the time.

To give you a sense of what I mean, watch this short video, below, and then let me know what you think.

In my upcoming book—The Forgotten Choice—I’ll be sharing much more about fear, the role it plays for us in life and at work, and the best solution for getting out of fear. Stay tuned as I look forward to sharing more in upcoming blog posts.

In the meantime, the next time you see someone who’s on the front lines of what’s going on in the world today, putting themselves in harm’s way for the greater good, I encourage you to pause and take a moment to thank them for their efforts.

Stay safe, stay grateful, and I wish you good health throughout the rest of this year –

Here’s to YOU™!

What is the true test of inspirational leadership?

It’s easy to be a great leader during “good times,” when things are running smoothly. But below is what I believe is the true test of inspirational leadership. What do YOU™ think?

Could this one simple question turn YOUR goals into reality, too?

I send you my very best wishes for a wonderful beginning to a bright, new decade. Just think what the next 10 years will bring! We live in exciting times, for sure.

Speaking of times… It’s that time of the year again — when we set goals for what we want to achieve.

Unfortunately, according to research by the University of Scranton, a staggering 92 percent of people who set New Year’s goals never actually achieve them. What’s behind that sobering statistic?

As my next book will share (more on that in future blogposts), goal achievement is often perceived as “difficult” in our minds, and so we usually prove ourselves right – and it does become difficult!

But what if we’re overthinking this? What if the keys to success in goal achievement are actually much simpler than we make them out to be?

To kick off this new year, I’m sharing in this blog post what I believe to be two foundational keys to success in achieving anything you want. I honestly believe that, if you follow these two simple suggestions below, you can absolutely, positively obtain whatever it is you set out to achieve. And that’s my money-back guarantee (you didn’t pay for this, did you?) 🙂

Two Keys to Success in Goal Achievement

You’ve set your sights on a goal you want to achieve in 2020. Well done! But in the back of your mind, you know you’ve failed in the past, so … how can you make sure this year’s goal turns out differently?

Below are two simple yet profound keys to help you take a goal and turn it into reality:

Key #1: Practice “Implementation Intention.” In this 2.5-minute video, I will share a fascinating technique which helped the British rowing team win the 2000 Olympics. It came down to one simple question which helped this team achieve something that Britain hadn’t done since 1912. How can you apply this idea to help YOU™ achieve what you want in the coming year?

Key #2: Enlist an “Accountability Buddy.”  I also recommend enlisting an “accountability buddy” to hold you bound and focused on reaching your goal. This could be a colleague, friend, spouse, or external coach who helps keep you on track.

Not convinced of the value of an accountability partner? One study released by Dominican University of California found that people were 33% more successful in reaching their stated goals when they sent weekly updates to a boss or colleague.

Even more telling: In his book, It’s Not About the Money, Bob Proctor quotes a Brigham Young University study about people trying to change some aspect of their lives. He reports: 

  • Those who stated, “That’s a good idea,” had only a 10% chance of actually making a change.
  • Those who committed and said, “I’ll do it,” had a 25% chance of making a change.
  • Those who said when they would take action showed a 40% chance of making a change.
  • Those who set a specific plan of how to do it had a 50% chance of making a change.
  • Those who committed to someone else that they would do it had a 60% chance of making a change.
  • And those who set a specific time to share their progress with someone else had a 95% chance of making a change. 

Your accountability partnership has the best chance of succeeding if you reciprocate and help the other person achieve his or her goals as well. Make a schedule with due dates for tasks, and as you work toward completing each specific one, check in with your accountability partner to stay motivated. On a regular basis, ask what the other needs from you, and be sure you know the best ways to motivate each other. If you come across challenges or obstacles on your way to your goals, talk openly about them.

In the meantime, celebrate together when you meet your goals, congratulate yourselves on your progress, and keep at it. With each step you take, you’ll strengthen your self-leadership and further build your Executive Leadership Brand.

Do keep me posted on how you are doing with your 2020 goal achievement!